(my)HOWL
(my)HOWL
for
Allen Ginsberg
I
I saw the worst minds of my generation, a plague of
madness, soul-starved in naked depravity
dragging Negroes through the streets at midnight
this angry system begging for a fix,
angels of Armageddon burning for the ancient prophesy
disconnected from the starry dynamo in twisted
machinery of eternal night,
who with wealth beyond imagination watched impoverished
humanity smolder from the echoed marbled darkness
of gated seclusion hovering over once-city remnants,
contemplating nil,
who pared young brains through dense fences of Hell and
padlocked doors, scarring blank slates forever
starved for illumination,
who bought out universities with cool venture capital fortunes
in hallucinatory self-importance while graduating tragic
scholars of staggering debt,
who were purged from the cloud for live-streaming the
obscenity of their hate through small shattered
screens,
who slashed away at long ragged snakes of tattered clothing,
burning money on porous steel dreams, wasting caged
lives to the Terror at the wall,
who busted heads in public, and silenced dissent in anony-
mous white vans from Portland to Chicago to New York
who ate junk food in Oval Offices or drank bleach in churches
death, or purgatoried their lungs in unmasked bars
night after night
with thoughts, with prayers, with hollow promises, false
claims, Diet Cokes and endless lies,
incomprehensible blind tweets shuddering loud, and
light in the mind leaping towards polls in
Mar a Lago & Fantasyland, illuminating the sub-
conscious underworld of Times past,
OxyContin realities in backwood bleak economies,
drunken dawns in tented storefronts, joyriding
limousines playing Let’s Make a Deal in the
flickering American winter, roaring past lost lives
and lost minds,
who chained themselves to cardboard prophets for a four-
year descent into Promised Land mirages,
scattering blame among innocents, until the noise
of collapse brought them down betrayed, butt-hurt
and broken, railing at their own images reflected in
the shattered mirrors of Now,
who sank to knees of worship for the narrow-minded god
of their own creation, sitting at the right hand of the
false prophet profiteering and listening to devout
crackpots speaking in forked tongues,
who spewed continuously in 140 characters from toilet
to table to desk to toilet to table to desk to toilet
to bed and toilet again,
a tragic gaggle of pundit commentators jumping through
hoops, lowering their ever-lowering bar even
lower, beneath dignity, beneath decency, beneath
truth,
accusing, blaming, insulting, mocking, threatening,
alluding to false facts and fantasies, delivering
crotch kicks and backstabs to victims, moralists
and vets,
with intellects exchanged for total loyalty, and pardons
granted to bag men and butchers, the meat of the
former-favored cast to the curb,
who descended the Golden Escalator of Destiny to leave a
trail of sixteen white elephants picture postcards of
Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland,
envying the Korean rocket man, the Russian mob boss, the
Turkish strongman, the Philippine enforcer, the
Brazilian firestarter, the cruel Israeli landlord, and
the Chinese president-for life,
who wandered from dressing room to dressing room of
the Beauty Pageants of America, wondering what
pussy to grab next, leaving no trace of heart,
who cut deals in golfcarts golfcarts golfcarts racketeering
walrus mulligans in lonesome foursomes with fair-
weather friends,
who studied Mussolini von Mieses Ayn Rand prosperity
theology and satanic pregnancies but preached to
TikTok empty seats in Tulsa,
who loned it down the path of the South Lawn, a vision of
crumpled untied faded smeared with orange collar
and small white palms,
who doubled-down on anarchy futures and worshipped at
the false altar of Big Data and talking telescopes
laserfocused on private lives,
who jumped into raw deals with the Chinaman on artless
impulse while leaving his cards facedown for a cold
winter Christmas shopping in smalltown America,
who lounged fat and lonely in Mar a Lago with no music pets
or laughter, and conversed with the One Jew Nazi
about infestations of eternal White America while
giving painful birth to his own Shithole Country,
who disappeared prosecutors for getting too close to Russian
associates, erasing paths to shadowy payments leaving
nothing but the ash of evidence scattered in lobbies of
the Ukraine,
who reinvented weather along the Southern Coast and saved
Alabama from Dorian’s mode of destruction using only a
Sharpie marker,
who burned clean coal despite the fact that it simply does not
exist beyond the propagandic haze of Capitalism,
who distributed 250 million dollars worth of Javelin Missiles
after seeking a quid for their pro quo as the sirens
of the whistleblowers wailed, and Zelinsky wailed,
and the Democrat Congress also wailed,
who broke down blue boxes in black neighborhoods in
naked desperation before dismantled machinery and
skeleton crews,
who’s bit-part AstroTurf shrieked with delight for fifty bucks
and a free t-shirt, fluffed by megaphones of praise and
the intoxicant of proximate fame,
who wept stale beer into national microphones and dragged
girls into frat party bedrooms groping genitals
and judicial robes,
who fucked the Statue of Liberty in the ass while self-
appointed saints testified with prideful ecstasy about
god’s plan,
who chanted “blood & soil” to the romantic glow of their
Cost Plus tiki torches and partied like it was 1933,
who bailed on rose gardens and public lands for cutting,
mining, fracking, drilling, dredging, extracting, paving
and laying pipe through sacred cemeteries and holy
waterways freely to whomever came to pay,
who word-farted endlessly trying to communicate but wound
up lost behind a partition of TelePrompters til faux
journalists came to lob softballs, underhand,
who sold their souls to the siren songs of seduction – the
hollow melody of loveless lust, the pathetic bombast of
unearned power, and the unresolved dissonance of an
unquenchable greed that makes nothing, gives nothing,
and offers nothing but must have everything in return,
who graduated from Libertine University with a speedo and a
glass of black water, summoning The Fixer for future
endorsements and scratching that unHoly Itch while
making love offerings to the Saintly Pool Boy with a
vision of ultimate cuck bathed in the fetid gyzym of
hypocritical self-righteousness,
who island pimped for heads of state and socialites, spilling
semen on the red eyed trembling innocents, with book
upon book of names and numbers dying with them by
enforced suicide,
who whored their night-school law degree in defense of
darkside extra-curriculars, W.B., legal hero of the Secret
Government, launderer, Bully of Columbia, and staunch
defender of BCCI, — death penalties and absolute
power in pursuit of the traditional moral order &
executive privilege, & The Crusades, while earning
the contempt of Congress for sympathetic editings
& whitewashings, & heat-beaming paths for
Lafayette Square photo-ops, & allies of his King,
who faded away after his security clearance got lifted,
then backed the Alabammy Judge who dates ‘em
young before crapping out in Europe, abandoned
by Mercer to hawk white gin blossom nationalism
and fraudulent wall futures and begging pardon after
stumbling off Guo’s yacht in Post Office handcuffs,
who found clemency with their hands full of blood,
littering Iraqi soil with pieces of anything that
moved, before sealing the grey room full of spent
casings and desecrated souvenirs,
who longed for the diplomacy of war and mocked the
global constraints on his sovereign, hawking pre-
emptive strikes before testifying by proxy on the
brief ride of a best-seller then slowly fading into
oblivion,
who ate Zimbabwe leopard and flashed the elephant’s
severed tail, bottom-feeding hunters looting
charities and always punching down,
who wept in private at the lack of romance, and swatted
away the grabbing hand that leaves them to walk in
the rain without an umbrella,
who sat uninvited at the G20 breathing in rarefied air
while longing for daddy’s lap, and hawked dresses
and black beans from high atop her princess loft,
who coughed up sneering contempt at the enemy of the people,
ever-spinning mouthpiece flamethrowing unapologetic
never-lie explanations behind the desecrated podium,
who sprayed his mercenary blackwater on foes both foreign
and domestic while his sister prayerfully profited from
turning American education into gibberish,
who cooked up & sold his own mythology from the heart
of the apple, eyes frozen with robotic denials,
backchanneling royal quid pro quos with
incarcerated cronies,
who plunged themselves into meaningless analysis
searching for covfefe,
who tossed their bow tie off-camera to be recast as the peak of
Broadcast Urinalism & pissed out Eternities of Hate
from beneath white sheets for the next generation,
who cut off the opposition on a Texas freeway and brought
mob rule to free and fair elections, lost, and were
forced onto other platforms where they cried to each
other and to their Q-Anon Jesus,
who burned alive the hardwon stars ‘n’ bars of Pentagon
uniforms in exchange for brand loyalty and armed
American soldiers on armed American streets amid
the squeal of ammonium nitrate delivery trucks & the
sinister click of semi-automatic pitchforks, or
committed lynchings as faith-drunk patriots from an
Alternate Reality,
who jumped into a Philadelphia press conference at Four
Seasons Total Landscaping this actually happened then
walked forgotten past the crematorium and the adult
novelty shop in a ghostly industrial alley, not even one
free dildo,
who greased the wheels or ground them to a halt depending,
gave their own twisted sperm to zombie corporate
personhood, wallowed proudly in zero-sum politics,
leaped on negroes, smirk-gloated unclean through the
halls of justice, jackboot danced on the corpse of
democracy, raised obstruction to an art form and
subjected generations of the many to the whims of the
few, skillful deaf to the sick, poor, voiceless and voteless
in twisted allegiance to a party you were not invited to,
who drilled down thru the deepstate conspiracy to the even
deeper deepstate conspiracy to the even even deeper
deeper deepstate conspiracy til finally falling flailing
through the flaky crust of this our flattened earth,
who with mere days to spare, leased 1.6 million acres of
wildcountry for visions of wells, visions of jobs, and
visions of irresponsible stewardship for all Eternity,
who lost in Michigan, who lost in Wisconsin, who lost in
Arizona, who lost in Pennsylvania, and who lost three
times in Georgia, but still won in their own mind &
brooded & tweeted from their Golf Course in Virginia as
their father’s dark memory hungered only for winners,
who fell to their knees on the Oval Office sofa, praying for
victims of the Bowling Green massacre and illuminating
alternative facts,
who crashed Rudy’s party releasing the Kraken in vengeful
wrath over Satan’s Dominion & subsequently
presented impossible mountains of Venezuelan &
Cuban evidence over 30,000 fraudulent votes from a
food truck & a circus full of witless witnesses,
who should retire to Mar-a-Lago and cultivate a life, to learn
to laugh besides at somebody and at least get a fucking
dog and maybe get dug by the blistering quicksilver jazz
rage of Albert Ayler or at least Kenny G,
who demanded martial law accusing the media & Democrats
of stealing a free & fair election & were left with empty
hands & sour grape cries for Civil War,
who spilled childbrains upon the asphalt streets of Baghdad
and subsequently presented themselves as exalted
warriors, serving only cruelty in a madhouse massacre
of fourteen innocents, contractors of slaughter building
vectors of grief and mercenary impunity,
and who were given instead the spiteful mercy of a failed
despot, rewarder of fraud witness tampering tax eva-
sion influence peddling conspiracy pimping assault &
murder, but most of all, loyalty,
who in humorless protest overturned exactly zero election
results, dreaming nightly of electoral coups,
returning again & again to the concrete mirage of fake ballots
cast & recast by millions of dead Communist immi-
grants & calling for the madman doom of a new
election to be held at gunpoint,
Keystone State’s, Arizona’s and Wisconsin’s voting laws
bickered & parsed by those with an eye on 2024,
rocking the base, tipping the scales, and sharpening
the flagpoles of foaming patriots, dreaming of a night-
mare of lynched bodies tried & convicted by mob
rule,
who fucked up fucked with and fucked their way up the
White House ladder, drunk, packing & unelectable,
grabbing the ill-timed notebook and grabbing ass and
grabbing the disagreeable placard, a bully with
opportunistic conscience, peddling influence and sound
bites with no discernable obligation to the truth,
america, while you are not safe i am not safe, and now
masked & armed you stand before me unrecognizable
in your anger fear need & utter denial –
and who therefore left their paying friends adrift on the red
carpets of Palm Beach, obsessed with overturning the
tables of democracy & betrayed even by their own
Judas VP and their former senate majority enabler,
who dreamt of incoherent revolution, briefly suspending time
and storming the slightly opened gates, enabled by
elected insurrectionists and feeling loved & special by
their savior of the twisted cross, coming in peace &
bullet-proof vests while gunning for traitors & satanic
opposition & indulging in the celebratory tantrum
dance of the Angry White Man
to smash the test tubes of this Our Great Experiment, with jack-
boot echoes in once-hallowed halls springing from
dogwhistle call-to-arms, shameless heavy-duty zip tie
seeking someone they did not vote for & leaving behind
the viral rumor of roasted nuts,
the grifter and his marks, over 74 million strong, laying down
a reality show for the ages, a ratings coup for the eyeball
farmers and a little death for our collective humanity,
then shrinking before our very eyes in the hot piss glow of a
spotlight cursed & craved, whispering ghost strains of a
farewell song forever noteless unsacred catalyst for so
much of America’s naked suffering & perfect flawed
vessel for entire universes where heart does not matter
with the absolute heart of a once-great nation butchered on the
altar of their own quenchless ego, may they live on in
irrelevance for a thousand years.
II
What twisted craftsman of bone and blood could revel in the
sacrifice of his own creation gutted upon the
blasphemous altar of self-reverence?
Nebro! Demiurge! Fool! Rebel! Expelled from the Fullness to
bask in mirrored adulation! Depriving his children of
The Ultimate Spark! Dousing Holy Thirst with the
brackish water of forgetfulness!
Nebro! Nebro! Pretender to Greatness Nebro! Nebro the
arrogant! Vengeful Nebro! Nebro the flawed creator of
this flawed world!
Nebro the pridefully ignorant! Nebro the lion-headed snake-
child of Chaos, Nebro the corrupted false-father! Nebro
whose unflinching demand for loyalty is itself a
betrayal! Nebro the deceiving redeemer!
Nebro who would wall-in the Infinite! Nebro whose blood
flows without heart pumping! Nebro whose fingers
lack the finishing touch! Nebro who’s puffed chest is
always hollow! Nebro with willfully deaf ears to the
harmony that resonates fully without mass!
Nebro who is blind to universes beyond the breath of his
atmosphere! Nebro whose scaled forgeries demand
endless devotion! Nebro who dreams of the vengeance
before the betrayal! Nebro the sower of empty seeds!
Nebro the reaper of a barren garden!
Nebro whose love is bestowed with conditions! Nebro
whose spirit never becomes fully manifest! Nebro
whose wealth reeks of Ponzi alchemy! Nebro whose
fate is but humbling reabsorbtion into the unseen!
Nebro whose name is, sadly, not unpronounceable!
Nebro who in loneliness begat creation! Nebro and his ToyBox
of wonders! Nebro the mere reflection! Nebro mated
with his own madness! Cast away and visionless Nebro!
Nebro who entered the garden uninvited! Nebro the luminous
dark shadow obscuring consciousness! Nebro the
abandoned child jealous father! Living in the dream of
Nebro! Longing for the self-generating light!
Nebro! Nebro! corrupted offerings! warped cathedrals!
distorted hymns! suppressed gospels! demonic
minions! spectral acolytes! the maker and the made!
devout mockeries! holy forgeries!
They stared in awe at the skewed perfection of Nebro!
matter, form, density, time! the lush field of corporeal
distraction! cloaking the divine infinite which is
everywhere about us!
Surviving! attracting! acquiring! controlling! do-ing
be-ing! the whole experience-ing of exist-ing!
Dreams! aspirations! yearnings! gnawing hungers! all side-
effects of his unholy counterfeit separation!
Break through! beyond the canopy! beyond the lack! Beyond
the given perception! immunity from the fire! Vision
and resurrection! from banishment to liberation to
transcendence! Fuck Nebro and his brimstone
tantrums! the true god is no cannibal!
Fly away now, fly away! We’ve seen enough! Barricaded
democracy! freedom behind fences! They slipped out
the back! They headed south for the winter! To
emptiness! fired! this bitter pill! this malignant
footnote! into the past!
III
George Floyd! I’m with you in Minneapolis
where for eight minutes and 46 seconds, we cannot
breathe
I’m with you in Brunswick
where, for jogging while Black, we get hunted down
for sport by a box of crackers
I’m with you in Buffalo
where we are told that we tripped and fell, while
blood flows freely from our head and the RoboCops
go marching marching on
I’m with you at a Taco Bell Drive-Thru in Vallejo
where had we known it was our Last Supper
we would have fallen asleep at a Burger King
I’m with you in Louisville
where we are shot eight times on a botched warrant,
but hey – accidents will happen
I’m with you in Oakland
where we are boogaloo ambushed as uniformed
casualties of the race war, while our Top Cop still
thinks the real enemy is the anti-Fascist
I’m with you in Dayton
because even insane people are guaranteed their
Second Amendment rights
I’m with you on the shores of the Rio Grande
face down next to our beautiful baby girl
I’m with you in El Paso
where by the time we realize those were not
firecrackers, it is too late
I’m with you in Istanbul
a mere journalist, dismembered
I’m with you in San Juan
where we’re mopping up what’s left of our lives with a
single sacred roll of the quicker picker upper
I’m with you in Las Vegas
where lead rains down upon Mandalay Bay and we
laugh like crisis actors waiting for a check from
George Soros
I’m with you in Charlottesville
where careening metal makes us fly like bowling pins,
and where he pleads guilty, but not nearly guilty enough
I’m with you in San Antonio
where we ride in on eternity’s darkness, taking our last
breath together in search of a better life
I’m with you on the Portland MAX
bleeding out for the hijabs of total strangers
I’m with you in Roger Ailes’ office
vomiting into his wastepaper basket
clubbed by some good people
I’m with you in Berkeley
watching some good cops as they watch us getting
clubbed by some good people
I’m with you in Kenosha
where for seven times our three young children
get to watch us getting shot in the back
I’m with you in Afghanistan
where the Mother of all Bombs killed no civilians
except us
I’m with you in New York City
where our last thoughts came in a ventilator crying
for our mothers along with only 400,000 other
I'm with you in Michigan
where we almost got kidnapped by patriots for daring
to close the gymnasiums
I’m with you in Columbus
where our keys are in the door and we are on the floor
with blood with sandwiches with three shots to the back
And I’m with you in Columbus
again
I’m with you in Our Nation's Capitol,
dying in service to an extinguishing ideal
I’m with you in every burned-out Church & Synagogue,
& every shot-up school, house party & dance hall, every
emergency room, meat locker & morgue, where in my
dreams, through smoke & bullet holes, through my final
longing for your voice your touch your very smell, you
wipe away my tears and convince me that someday every
thing is gonna be all right.
FOOTNOTE TO (my)HOWL
Wholly Holey! Wholly Holey Whole Hole! Holy Hole! Holy!
Holy Hole! Wholly Holy Holey Hole!
The planet is holey! The spirit is holey! Black skin is holey!
White skin is holey! Brown skin is holey! Red skin is
holey! Yellow skin is holey! Green skin is holey! Blue
skin is holey! All skin is holey! No skin is holey!
Everything is wholly holey! everybody’s wholly holey! in every
heart everywhere, there are holy, holy holes! an eternity
in four years! a Sucker born every sacred minute!
The anarchist’s as holey as the storm trooper! the politician’s
as holey as the soulless unnamed PACs are holey!
The aching thumbs are holey the latent live-streams are holey
the thirsty ears are holey the on-line tip jars are holey!
Holey Sally Yates! Holey Preet Bharara! Holey Christine
Blasey Ford! Holey Walter Schaub Jr! Holey Marie
Yovanovitch! Holey Lieutenant Colonel Alexander
Vindman! Holey Dr. Anthony Fauci! Holey Coach
Aaron Feis! Holey the unknown casualties of politics
after midnight and off the clock! Holey the awesome
and horrible singular reality!
Holey whistleblower Edward Snowden! Holey journalist Julian
Assange! Holey patriot Chelsea Manning!
Holey the latent stutterstep jamnation! Holy the fucking Zoom
Apocalypse! Holy the distanced drummers as they
groove in 13/8 bongos & forgiveness & legal marijuana!
Holey the solitudes of the ICU and the meatlocker morgues!
Holey the agony of the 6-feet untouchables! Holey the
stinking masks and streets of discarded rubber gloves!
Holey the deepstate multitudes! Holey the vast flocks of
libtards and sheeple! Holey the flaming passions of
low-information zealotry! Who digs The Confederacy
IS The Confederacy!
Holey Tulsa Holey Phoenix Holey Tampa Holey Winston &
Salem Holey Henderson Holey Johnstown Holey Des
Moines Holey Greenville Holey Macon Holey Reno
Holey Las Vegas Holey Pensacola Holey Allentown
Holey Omaha Holey Kenosha Holey Bullhead City!
Holey time holey life holey family holey relationship holey
cohort holey precious routine and schedule holey
expectations holey the crumbling kingdom of Nebro!
Holey the heart holey the mind holey the feelings holy intuition
holey knowledge beyond training holey spontaneous
knowing holey the wholly holy self and the wholly holy
holey vision and holey the incomprehensible void!
Holey the eternal extra brilliant flame of our wholly holy holy
birthright to be whole!
Sausalito, 2021